Mind Reading

How this Cognitive Distortion could be Negatively Impacting your Relationship

What it is…
Mind Reading is when you assume you know what your partner is thinking or feeling before they express it to you. It’s when you stop listening to your partner because you assume you know how their statement will end. It’s when you cut them off and finish their sentence for them because you assume you know what they are going to say.

Why it is a problem…
Mind Reading is a problem because it makes your partner feel like what they have to say it not important to you. Even if your assumption or prediction is correct, you still need to let them communicate it to you. Part of processing thoughts and feelings is formulating sentences without having someone else do it for you. Your role is to actively listen to what they are saying, especially because they may share something that you were not expecting or predicting. Maybe they are taking responsibility for their role in a recent argument rather than blaming you like they have done in the past.

What to do instead…
Instead of Mind Reading, try active listening. Face your partner and make eye contact. Listen without judging or jumping to conclusions. Stay focused. Don’t start planning what to say next. Don’t interrupt or assume that you know what they are thinking or feeling. Actively engage in the process of listening.