Tools to Repair a Ruptured Relationship
We have all said things to loved ones that have caused pain and suffering. It may even have blown up a relationship in a way that was not expected. To be in any active relationship, whether it is romantic or friendly requires constant nurturing and communication. What happens when a relationship becomes heated and a rupture occurs? How do all involved actively repair a damaged relationship? Here are 5 tools that can help on the journey of healing:
Self-soothe - Before engaging in a conversation, process what feelings are coming up and calm down any jittery, angry or anxious thoughts that may pop up.
Active listening - To engage in active listening one must be able to process what is being said without willfully wanting to get their agenda heard.
Clarify - Ask questions and be curious about the other persons experience and perspective. Starting conversations with “I wonder if you felt…” can be helpful to make the other person feel understood.
Validate - Validate the others persons experience and let go of who is right or wrong. To validate does not mean to agree with but rather make the other person feel as though you understand their perspective.
Compromise - Find the middle path. Figure out what each person’s priorities are in the argument and see if there is a way to find meaning in the middle.