Setting Healthy Boundaries

Have you ever felt manipulated by someone repeatedly? Or maybe, you have a hard time saying “no” to someone in your life because of a fear of rejection and/or abandonment. If this sounds like you, you may struggle with setting healthy boundaries in your life. Boundaries are easier to envision when you think of them like fences around a house. A fence lets everyone know that everything inside of it is private property-- only accessible if invited inside. Personal boundaries can be a little trickier because most of the time, they are not tangible. Personal boundaries consist of both emotional and physical space, and help define which types of interactions, behaviors, and communication are acceptable for you.
Setting healthy boundaries can help build self-esteem, self- respect, and can develop assertive communication. This will not only empower you to make healthy decisions, but will also help you separate your feelings, thoughts and needs from those of others.
 
Here are some tips to help you get started in setting healthier boundaries in your life!
 
Be concise and firm. When setting a boundary, you do not need to justify yourself or apologize for that boundary. Instead, stay calm and be clear, while still holding firm and using as few words as possible to get your point across.
 
Be responsible only for communicating your boundary appropriately. You are only responsible for making sure that your boundary is communicated appropriately. You are not responsible for the other person’s reaction. If you apologize for setting a boundary, you risk sending mixed messages to the other person.
 
Don’t let fear, anxiety, or guilt stand in your way. Many people avoid setting boundaries because of the fear of rejection, abandonment and confrontation. Healthy boundaries not only build your self-esteem and self-respect, but also can reduce your anxiety and empower you to make healthier decisions for yourself.
 
Learn to get in tune with your feelings. If you are feeling angry, frustrated, or resentful, learn how to check in with yourself to figure out why you are feeling that way and what you can do about it. Listen to what you might need, and do it assertively.
 
Distinguish between those who can and cannot respect your boundaries. Not everyone can respect boundaries. While setting healthy boundaries, you learn who will continue to respect them, and who cannot. Eliminate toxic people in your life, especially those who manipulate and abuse your relationship.